My friend, DE, refers to herself as an ex-pat.  She’s a United States citizen, has lived here for 50+ years, but several years ago sold everything and moved to Costa Rico.  Then about a year ago she moved to Buenos Aires and loves it there.   

When she first moved out of the country, I asked her why – did she have friends or relatives in Costa Rico?  No, not really.  A job there?  Opportunities?  No, not really.  She just wanted a change.  A big one.  And she said, there are a lot of Americans living there.

 

I don’t think I’ll ever fully know her “reasons” for moving out of the country, just like that.  I believe it’s more affordable there, but don’t know that for a fact.  But I do know a lot of people, in particular, a lot of women, do it.

 

The first time I went to Fresh Start, I had to wait a bit for someone, so I went into the library there and saw this magazine, “More”.  It appeared to be geared to the 40+ woman who suddenly finds herself on her own with a life full of choices and endless possibilities. 

There was an article on a place in Mexico, San Miguel.  It looked pretty amazing.  San Miguel is apparently a cultural mecca, and new home and/or refuge to thousands of women in transition or embarking on new lives.

 

I came home and called DE and told her I think I want to go to San Miguel.  I’m a performer, so maybe I could get a booking there (for a month!) or something.

 

She said “I know about San Miguel.  A lot of ex-pats go there.”

 

I don’t know if Frida Kahlo, the artist, is from there or not, but the city is having something huge going on that has to do with her.  That was one of my favorite movies, Frida. It was so beautiful.  What an amazingly rich, inner (& outer) life she had.

 

It’s a tempting, romantic thought, thinking about running away to a place like that.  20 years ago, I made “all the right decisions” which brought me to where and how I’m living now, decisions driven by the best place to raise my family.  The schools here are good, there are a lot of parks and things for families to do.  But for me, an adult woman empty-nester & now empty-marriager, I don’t know if it’s what I need or want at this point in my life.

 

 

DE said Buenos Aires is one of the most culturally rich places in the world.  Every night you can go out and there are amazing plays, performances everywhere, many of them for free, or $5.  When she lived in Costa Rico, she said there were music practice rooms in the library with grand pianos in them!  Free to the public!  In the library!!!!!

 

Excuse me, but that is so different from the cultural landscape here.  

That’s another thing, you know, I get tunnel vision sometimes and forget how big and diverse the world is.

 

Here’s some math for you who enjoy quadratic equations:

If H(husband)+C(children)+M(me) = FL (Family Life, which stands for all that comes with it, location, vacations, bills, decisions, joys & compromises).

 

If I take away H+C, it’s not (H + C) + M = FL, but rather a whole new equation: 

M = ML (My life)

 

That’s what I have to keep remembering.

 

The stress and anxiety I occasionally allow myself to fall into are the growing pains of abandoning the old equation and getting to the new.

 

How much of everything that I know and have been and have structured my life around so far, (my town, my work, my relationships), will change in this process?  I don’t know.

  

Bring it on.