Some of my friends are doing terrible.  And part of me just wants to save them, save the world, etc., but I know I have my hands full right now just saving myself.

SR called today, left a message.  I hadn’t spoken to her in about 6 months when I was in the midst of my divorce drama.  SR had already been divorced twice.  Now she had just moved across country to be with the love of her life who had been her high school sweetheart who was rich and they had incredible sex and she was going move in with him and eventually they would get married. 

On the phone message, she sounded upbeat, but when I called her back, she was clearly terrible.

SR is a smart, funny, educated, competent woman. She had left a good business behind, to move into his house.  She also had a house here that she was counting on the equity from, and now there was none. 

She went on about the situation she found herself in.  How could he do this/do that to her etc. etc.   Not a violent guy or anything.  Just confused and self-absorbed.     

I said “SR – you’ve gotta get outta there.  Take care of yourself.  Have some dignity.”  And she was like “But I want this lifestyle.  I want this house.”  I said “Well it’s not yours.”

If I ever get married again, I hope I remember to never to depend on someone else so heavily again.   It’s just not healthy.  And nobody can support that kind of weight.

And I hope SR’s ok.  I’m a little worried about her.