Off the market Yay!

If you ever want to get unbelievably popular, list your house and then take it off the market. My phone has been ringing off the hook since we unlisted it the other day. The worst was the morning after. It was so bad we had to turn the ringer off.

About half the people that called didn’t leave messages. Then others left these warm, really wonderful sounding messages about how much they can help and why they’re the right realtor for me. Called me by my first name like I was some long lost best friend. I didn’t know any of them.

My ex and I entertained ourselves over breakfast the first day rating the incoming sales pitches on our phone answering machine that came in nonstop, one right after the other, interrupted only by the beep of call-waiting, as two or three people were trying to call in at the same time.

It’s been almost a week now, and today it’s finally tapering down. We only got about 5 calls today and some flyers and cards with handwritten notes stuck in the front door.

I’m glad the house is off the market. I know you’re not supposed to take prospective buyer/realtor comments personally, but I’m so tired of the low-ballers coming in here and always playing the “how-low-can-you-go” game , with their little pin-pricky remarks insinuating I’m slob and have bad taste. (“I can’t pay full price for this house! Look at how they’ve arranged the dining room chairs!”)

And those fire drill days, where you get a phone call and have 20 minutes to turn your house into Better Homes and Gardens.

Now I can finally exhale and sort my laundry on the floor over by the pink wall.

 

I made my first sale! I’m in business!!!

I made my first sale! I’m in Business!

My realtor was over today and I showed her my Triple Ritual Homeselling Kit^tm, which includes a statue of St. Joseph (“patron Saint of Homeselling”), sage for purifying your home of negative spirits, and the apple spice candle, along with complete instructions. She thought it was great.

Unbeknownst to me, she was already a fan of St. Joe’s and had previously bought just the statues for some of her clients. I think she was impressed by the spiritual variety of items in the kit. It’s not just for Catholics anymore.

And with the real estate market being the way it is these days, it’s clearly not enough to just bury the statue!

I’m in business!!!! My first sale!!!! Yay!

 

Realtor Audition Day

It was realtor audition day today here. We had scheduled a parade of realtors, one every hour, to come through the house this morning and give us their best shot.

Even though I knew it was what we needed to do to make an informed decision, at first I felt a little bad that they would all be putting a lot of work into their presentations, doing a lot of research just for us and then coming over here with their best foot forward and sitting down with the expectation of selling us on their services, and we could only choose one.

But my attitude adjusted when I realized – wait a minute – I’m a musician and I audition all the time, and lot’s of times, the winner is not me. And my press kits are expensive too. That’s just the way it is.

It was pretty disheartening listening to all of them and all the prophesies of doom and gloom: “Sliding home prices. Market not getting better. Could be years before prices come back up again. etc. etc.” Maybe it’s all true. Or maybe that’s part of the standard sales approach to prospective sellers, to get us to price the house so low that they can easily turn around a quick sale. It’s hard to know.

My future ex and I had both counted on the money from some of the anticipated equity in the house to cushion us into our new lives. That’s all the money we (thought we) had, and now it looks like there’s not going to be a whole lot.

But what’s the alternative? Staying here? Together? For how long? Years? And then what? Wait for the market to rebound? Rent it out? We’ve been hearing stories about how that market is drying up too and rents are falling as well. Well then, where is everybody living these days!!?

So we’re going to sell it. We’re going to go with a competent realtor who is also a friend and I know has our best interests at heart. So I can trust that even though we won’t get our ideal price, I know we’ll get the best price that can be had in this market.

I can only hope that when I go to buy another house, I get as good a bargain as the one someone will get on the one we’re selling.

 

People who make real estate predictions and remembering alar

We went out with our real estate agent last night to look at some duplexes in her neighborhood as possible investment properties.  She’s in a great neighborhood and we had the best pizza there I’ve had in years – that alone could make it worth buying there; but of course, no one’s going anywhere till we sell this house.

She said the market out there is crazy.  Buyers aren’t buying.  They’re waiting.  Buyers are afraid that if they buy this week they’ll regret it, because maybe a better deal could’ve been had if they’d waited another week.   She said some brokerage houses have closed.  No business.  Can’t afford to keep their doors open right now.

I said “Doesn’t anybody need a house?”  She said of course.  But people are scared, especially with all the bad news on the news every night.  It’s like a joke already.  I heard that Stephen Colbert did a whole spoof on all the doomsday predictors.  I wish I could’ve seen that.

Do you remember the alar scare a few years back, and then no one ate apples for about a year and apple sales plummeted?  I don’t remember being told if or when it became safe to eat apples again.  I just remember all the scares and what it did to apple sales.  

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We had another open house today.  I thought that was pretty optimistic of my realtor, given our conversation from last night.  But actually, someone came through and expressed interest.  He said he wants to come back and look again with his wife.  We’ll see if/where that goes.  But at least someone is out there looking. 

 

Organization tip – bins!

I need to work very visually, with everything spread out so I can see it.  I was lamenting to Z the other night how difficult it’s becoming as a potential home-seller, with concerns of keeping surfaces clutter free for the multitudes of prospective buyers that I know will be coming through at any time now(?)……

 

It’s gotten so hard to get any work done, because I conscientiously keep trying to put things away.  Several times a “buyer-alert” phone call has prompted me to shove everything into a pile in a closet or a drawer – only to not get back to it until over a week later.

 

And then when I do get back to the project, it takes awhile to figure out where I left off.  And there’s always something missing that can take another chunk of the day to locate (if ever!).

 

It’s pretty stressful, with such major projects looming in front of me and demanding my full attention (i.e. starting a business, getting a divorce, and going to a conference next week where I’ll be performing and hosting a dinner party).

 

Z recommended bins.   She recommended I sort things into a few major categories, and stick them in big-labeled, see-through bins.

 

She also recommended a particular container store where they have brightly-colored, super-functional bins, but we don’t have one nearby, so I just went to Fry’s supermarket and brought home a bunch of non-descript, see-through lidded bins which are going to work fine.  I put big labels on them – “New Business”, “Divorce”, “Music-related”, and “Other assorted non-urgent things that need to be dealt with.”

I spent about an hour going through piles and piles and files and files of paper, throwing everything into the bins.  I think it’s going to work! 

 

More “buyers market” frustration and alternate plans

My future ex and I have been talking a lot about the house, the market and all the freakin’ low-ballers.

 

We’ve decided we’re not going to reduce the house another penny.  Even if the prospective buyers tell us they can’t pay full price because they noticed a light bulb was broken or something and they’ll have to hire a bevy of contractors to replace it – and because of this the price should be at least $10,000 less.

 

It’s a buyer’s market.  I get it.

 

We’re going to the bank on Monday to see if a refinance could substantially reduce our monthly payments.  If so, we’re going to look into hiring a management company and then renting the house out for cash flow.

 

If the above is not do-able, we’ll just figure, we’re going to be living here for awhile, and try to get along.

 

That shouldn’t be a problem.  We both want to move on, but not broke.

 

Better home selling through Apple Pie, candles, plug-ins & air freshener

Today’s a big day here.  We have another Open House this afternoon and my future ex and I are determined to “Win Friends and Influence People” through apple pie – real or insinuated.

 

We’ve been auditioning scented candles all week, combing the town in attempts to sniff out the poseurs from the real thing.  Our home has become a candle-testing ground, every evening a new contender wafting it’s lovely scent through our living quarters.

 

In my dreams.

 

See, that’s the problem.  They haven’t been wafting well.  A few times I’ve almost burned the tip of my nose, checking to see if a particular hyped-up piece of dead wax even had a scent.

 

I once had a pet turtle like that.  Some days he didn’t move and we had to get up real close and prod him several times, just to see if he was still alive.

 

But today is important, so this morning I went out to get some of that apple-scented Fabreze.  I also picked up some Glade Apple-Spiced scent plug-ins and a Glade candle.

 

We’ll be trying them all.  I just sprayed a room with the Febreze and it was nice – pleasant and not overbearing.

 

The Open House this afternoon is scheduled from 12-3:00.

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Also taking place this afternoon, at 4:00, DJ is having a potluck party.  Guess what we’re bringing?  Fresh baked apple pie!  To be it’s freshest, it will have to bake and then stay warm in my oven all afternoon, until it’s time to leave.

 

Oh!  That’s when the Open House will be taking place here!  What a coincidence!