April 29, 2008
What’s the best way to end a marriage?
Posted by amg1 under Journal, Life, Women, philosophy | Tags: behind closed doors, desertion, divorce, endings, marriage, other people's lives, relationships |Divorce feels lighter. It’s like something in the cosmic fabric just clicked and unhinged and it’s all going to be ok.
A good friend of mine is leaving her husband later this week. She’s been planning it for months and hasn’t told him yet. She said he’ll just wake up and she’ll be gone. She thinks it’s best that way. She bought a nonrefundable plane ticket and is moving thousands of miles away and never coming back.
She’s not leaving for a new boyfriend, or family, or a new job - none of the obvious reason. She just feels this is something she has to do and somewhere she has to be.
I was over her house this morning and she was pretty upset, the reality and nearness of the day finally getting to her. I said you know I really think you ought to tell him.
Her husband’s a sweetie. To look at them and their lives, you’d think they were the happiest couple. Gatsyby-esque. Actually, a few years ago I would’ve been even more shocked, but if these past few years have taught me anything, it’s that you never know what goes on behind the closed doors of other peoples’ lives.
My own divorce/separation is certainly one of the more gracefully drawn out ones. We’ve been working on the logistics of it for about a year, and now we’ll be roommates in our house for probably another year.
I’d rather do it the way we’re doing it. But frankly, maybe she’s on to something. Maybe that’s the cleanest. Cut. Run. Start over. I dunno. I just really hope she tells her husband.
April 30, 2008 at 10:06 am
If someone cares about the person they’ve spent so many years with, how can they just take off? Sounds dramatic, but also like a lame attempt at avoidance. Is running away to start a new life somewhere else so much easier than just talking to a partner? Drama is just too stressful.
(Nice to have found your blog!)
April 30, 2008 at 10:21 am
Rosalind,
I know. I feel the same way. It really bothers me too.
May 1, 2008 at 9:56 am
You’ve inspired me to start my own blog. Gotta work on getting a picture up.
May 1, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Thanks Rosalind. It’s been great for me. Helps me to look back and see the big picture, as opposed to those days when i get into a strange place and think I’m going to feel like that forever.