Haven’t blogged in a really long time

I haven’t blogged in a really long time.  I’ve been busy writing a book.  A lot of the things I’ve written about in this blog will go into this book, but that’s not the half of it.  There’s a lot I haven’t talked about, that I’m ready to talk about now, so, that’s why I’m releasing this book.  Meantime though, there’s a lot of stuff I have to get together, like, should I begin sharing the actual book on my blog?  Should I post some of my songs to the blog?  I’m not sure what I’m going to do yet.  So, the purpose of this post is to air out some of my indecision, welcome any feedback, as well as to begin to figure out some of the mechanics of this all, and just get back out into the blogosphere, in general.  The last couple of posts I’ve put up, there was probably a year or more in between a few of them.  That will either happen with this one, too, or you’ll hear from me again soon, and a lot.  Still figuring it out.  Wish me luck

 

New Post on My New Blog!

New post on my new blog.  Please check it out!

 

Dump dump dump

They say nature abhors a vacuum.  I hope that’s true, because we’re throwing out so much stuff here I can almost see a sinkhole forming.

This past month week the Salvation Army has been here over 10x. We could probably have opened our own store.  But it’s just dump dump dump – as fast as you can.

The house is getting clearer and clearer.  Everytime some walks in who hasn’t been here in over a week they say “Wow.”

The Salvation Army will be here again tomorrow.  I just put out 6 more boxes for them and then found a box of Christmas lights and a wreath in the garage and put it out on the porch on top of the pile.  Merry Christmas!

 

No big production this time

The house has been listed for a week now.  No big fixes, staging, etc. this time.  Just cleaning up the rooms and the boxes.  As is.

I understand there’s not the competition there was last time either, as far as a perfectly done-up, immaculate looking house with all the right granite countertops, new carpeting, and 100% beige etc.  Apparently this time some of our competition has holes in the walls, missing faucets, all kinds of interesting things that angry people do and take when they’re walking away from their foreclosures.

So the fact that our house is clean, relatively uncluttered and has all it’s working parts and walls is pretty good.  We don’t have the money to do all that this time anyway.  The last time we listed it, 2 years ago, we spent over $10,000, and months on do-it-yourself projects painting, sprucing up, etc.

The realtor at that time even had us hire a window washer ($300).  Maids to scrub bathrooms & kitchen: $200.

We haven’t had any lookers yet.  But at least when we do, I won’t feel resentful when they walk away after I’ve spent a ton of money on silly stuff I don’t even like (to impress them!?).

 

Back to Blogging

Everybody asks me what I’m going to do.

I.  Have.  No.  Clue.

Actually, that’s not 100% true.  I know what I’m planning to do.

Drive.

I’m not supporting myself finanially very well here.  My teaching roster has severely dwindled down, and I haven’t been getting many new students.

At this point in life, I don’t have much patience left to do anything I don’t want to do.  I’ve tried starting up a few businesses (see earlier posts) and have done enough stupid business things to write “the stupid book.”

There’s nothing I want to do now except sing, play the piano and write songs, so I’m going to go on the road and do it.  Learn to live by serendipity and instinct.   My car gets 50 mpg.

Hence….(love that word!) I’m blogging again.  I figure,  this could be kind of like an “Eat Love Pray” thing, without the book advance, international travel, good food or meditation.

I haven’t booked any shows out of town yet, so once the house sells, I may just park at a friend’s for a few months, get my bearings, and then take off.  I just want to get out from under the burden of the bills of this house first.  As long as we’re stuck here, we both need to do everything we possibly can to keep the creditors happy until we can sell.

The value of our house has gone down almost 50%, but unlike those unlucky 1 in 4 underwaters, we still have some equity – not a lot – but what there is, we want to get out.  So we’re doing the best we can to stay until we sell.

Anyway, those be my plans for now.  I reserve the right to change at any point.

Wish me luck.

 

Signs of Recovery?

One of the headlines when I opened my Yahoo account today was “Signs of Recovery.”  Well, I hope that’s true, because things are a little bit scary here.  All the safety nets I had counted on when going through this whole process, knowing I’d be ok with a year or two to get myself up & running – aren’t there.

We couldn’t sell this house, our main “asset”, & now it’s only worth about half it’s previous value.  My private teaching practice has dwindled greatly.  I’m attributing some of that to the summer… people going away etc. – hopefully that’s all it is…. but things still haven’t begun re-popping.  And then there was supposed to be a few years of some spousal support.  The first year was good, but now it’s all dwindled and my ex-spouse has even less income than I do and you can’t bleed water from a stone.  So, scary times.

I have a few shows coming up in September/October.  They’re big shows – great exposure, etc.  Let’s see if/where that all leads.

But if things don’t shift dramatically here real soon, I’m thinking about packing it all in and living out of my car for while.  Going on the road.  Working or not.  Just driving driving driving to someplace new.

 

Been awhile again

Well, it’s been awhile again.  So many things have changed.  I’ve moved on.  Still living with my ex.  Financial reasons – market’s been terrible.  But still, I’ve moved on in so many ways.

I took my webstore down – it had been hastilly conceived, poorly planned and expensive to maintain.  But a lot of good did come out of it, so I’m in the process of building a new, scaled-down model that will grow more organically, as I can handle it.

I’m doing a lot more performing, which I love, and a lot less teaching, which is a little worrisome, because I depend on it for much of my income, but students don’t seem to be as plentiful as in the past.  For years I had a waiting list.  Now people will call and say “How much do you charge?” And if they find someone cheaper, you’re out.  Price shopping for teachers!  So I’m working on finding more and more, new ways of filling in this financial gap.

So that’s where things are at.  Movin’ on.  Older, wiser, and still, very much in the trenches, still “starting over.”  Who would’ve thought it could take so long?

 

“You’re in good hands with Allstate” and other meaningless advertising slogans

When I was much younger and very into the concept of “love”, “falling in love” and all the good stuff that comes with that, Canada Dry put out an advertising campaign with a catchy jingle “Ginger Ale tastes like love.”  

Also,  being much younger, I was very much into my opinions and getting huffy and indignant about things and I remember how particularly huffy and indignant (and offended?) I got about this particular advertising campaign, vehemently opining to anyone who would listen to me “What do they mean it tastes like love!!!!!  How dare they compare their soda to love!  I like ginger ale, but comparing it to LOVE That cheapens the whole sentiment (etc. etc.)!!!”

Eventually I got over it.

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I am insured by Allstate.  I have my car insurance, homeowners insurance and life insurance policies with them.  My ex & I have been with Allstate for over 15 years, paying them almost $500 a month in assorted premiums.

When I first noticed the water leaking into my kitchen, on a Thursday, I called the plumber.  When the plumber came out, and realized there was probably a ton of water in the ceiling, they said they would have to get in there immediately, dry it out and find the source.

Right away I called Allstate Claims.  I told them everything that was going on, what we were doing (ripping out the ceiling shower floor, etc.),  Allstate said they would send an adjuster out the following Tuesday, and added that all the contractors could contact them directly for billing.  

The Claims rep. appeared very concerned, and added  “Will you need to stay in a hotel?”  What a wonderful “good hands” feeling sort of thing!  

The adjuster came out that Tuesday.  By now, the whole upstairs shower had been ripped out, as well as the kitchen ceiling underneath.  He looked over some of the beams and said “it’s obvious that this has been going on for awhile.  Allstate will only cover “sudden and accidental loss” claims for water damage.

I said, well this was sudden for us.  The leak in the kitchen was the first time we became aware of any problem, and dealt with it immediately.”  The adjuster replied while that may be so, it appeared obvious that this has been going on for awhile.

To which I mildly sarcastically retorted “So, as a homeowner, my responsibility is to periodically rip out the ceilings to make sure there’s no water collecting anywhere?” 

He laughed and said something like “pretty much.”

The report from Allstate came back they were denying the claim because 1) there were signs of long term leakage from underneath shower pan and 2) because we had been advised not to do  demolition prior to inspection”.  This part was a lie.  Allstate knew full well everything that was going on.

The lie part of the report got me so angry that I consulted an attorney, who told me there was no case because the policy did state the damage had to be “sudden and accidental” and Allstate was able to make a case that it wasn’t.  

I called my agent to express my unhappiness at all that had transpired, that they weren’t covering any of this.  He said, well, you actually have our premium homeowners’ policy.  

What can you say.  Yippee.  I have the super duper deluxe policy.  Good for me.

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A parade of amicable repairmen have been trouncing through my house this past month, from demolition guys to plumbers to tilers to ceiling-drying people to shower rebuilders, everyone assuming my insurance company would be covering their bill.  

When I’ve said no and they ask whom I’m with & I tell them Allstate, more than one has made the same funny joke: “You’re in good hands with Allstate, until you make a claim.”  Many have recommended other companies who would’ve covered this, and I will be doing some shopping soon.

It’s funny, one of my students, a little girl, was over the house the other day and I was updating her mother on all the action here and the little girl looked at me wide-eyed and surprised and said “Allstate!  But I’ve always heard ‘You’re in good hands with Allstate!”

The older you get, the more cynical you become to the hype and glitter of advertising slogans.  All the crappy promises out there, really.    show me da money.   

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It’s a new year coming up.  Everything, all new.  New president.

A lot of my friends were serious Obama supporters.  Mostly for reasons like “He’s going to bring much needed change to our country.  He offers hope.”

A comedy show I tuned into a few weeks before the election was doing a thing on Obama as the “Chope” candidate.  (Change and Hope = “Chope”).  They kept chanting   “chope”.  It was actually pretty funny.

Things aren’t that funny right now for a lot of people.  There’s an air of depression in the air, what with the economy and all, so many people are scared, hoping for things to get better, afraid they won’t.

I’m hoping that the “chope” candidate will be able to come through on all his good promises and slogans.  A lot of people are.

  

 

The little thoughts that run through our heads

It’s funny the little thoughts that can run through our heads and distract us from unpleasant realities.

On her first, CD, “Little Earthquakes”, Tori Amos wrote a chilling song about the experience of being raped and the chorus goes something like 

“Me and a gun and a man on my back. 

But I haven’t been to Barbados so I must get out of here”

Then she goes on to sing about the sweet biscuits in Carolina, all the while she’s being raped.

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I love cats.  I used to have two cats and they were some of the lights of my life.  The second one died about 4 years go and there were too many changes going on that I knew it was definitely not the time to bring any new animals into the household.

Someday I will have cats again, but of course, now is still not the time.

Anyway, yesterday when I realized my house was about to be torn apart, all I could think of was how much I wanted a cat.  Then I started feeling frustrated because if I brought one home, well, there’d be a hole in the upstairs floor and that would be really dangerous.  Maybe we could somehow rope off that area…. Or just keep the door to that room closed – yeah! that would work.  But then there’d be all that debris everywhere from the demolition crews and it would be impossible to keep the cat out of the kitchen  – unless we locked her up in another room?… but that wouldn’t be so good – a new pet and all… damn! how are we going to work this out!

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Some people turn to drugs or alcohol.  Tori goes to Barbados.  Me, I fantasize about sitting on the couch with a cat on my lap.  Pretty wild, huh?

 

Sky is falling

What a weird day.  

I woke up really foggy and spacey and kept asking myself, now what did I eat last night?  Because I was feeling so weird.

Around 9:00 I took a shower and then went into the kitchen to have coffee with my ex.

As we sat there talking about our plans for the day, pieces of the ceiling started falling on us.  Then he looked at the wall behind me and asked if there had there been a coffee spill because there was a big area on it that was brown and stained and wet – like someone had just thrown coffee at it.

So he cleaned up the “coffee spill’ while I called the plumber, who showed up pretty quickly. Then the plumber’s supervisor, who happened to be in the neighborhood, also stopped in.  

I had to go out for about an hour, but when I got back there was a big hole in the kitchen ceiling and another company had just arrived with de-humidifiers which are now going to be going full blast in the kitchen and the master bathroom (which houses the shower that is right about the kitchen) for the next four days.

They don’t know what caused the mini-flood yet, but suspect it may’ve been building up for awhile, possibly years, culminating in today’s impressive display.  Or it might’ve been a pipe that burst.   We won’t know much more until tomorrow, when the clean up crew comes out to rip out the kitchen ceiling and half of the upstairs bathroom, including the  shower and tub.

I’m glad I already spent the money I did on things I need, because if I hadn’t, I don’t know if I would right now.  I’m just hoping insurance will cover some of this.

Then I would’ve stayed home this evening to recover from the day’s excitement, but I was also desiring to get away from the sound of the de-humidifiers, so I went to an open mic where I ran into a musician friend and was telling him about my day.  

I told him how I should’ve known something was up because I was feeling so strange all morning before it happened, like something in me knew what a fun day I had in store and he said Yeah – he sees a light every morning when he gets up, and a few times that light had been black, and it turned out to be a very bad day.

Hmm.  Ok.

It’s late and I’m tired and would like to go to bed, but I’m going to sleep in my office tonight and I need my ex’s help adjusting the futon.  I hope he gets home from his gig soon.